Friday, December 30, 2011

No More Fireworks...

F*&k sake people, I thought I was done for the year! I mean seriously.  My Senior I-Told-You-So Relationship Correspondent in St Louis tried to get me to prepare this blog entry several days ago, but I don't believe it until the Associated Press makes it true.  "Actor" Russell Brand and pop songstress Katy Perry have called it quits. I really thought those silly kids were gonna make it.

Thanks to my Senior British-American Correspondent in Philadelphia for the heads up.

Let's get the Auld Lang Syne in without another break-up PLEASE!

Low Note for Mezzo Soprano...

The break-up gods have hit again, one last time I hope for 2011.  It is over when the thin pretty lady sings, opera singer Katherine Jenkins has split from TV host Gethin Jones after 4 years.  That's a lot of hat for one blog entry. I really thought those Welsh were gonna make it. 

While I'm here, Happy New Year my friends! See you on the other side!


Wednesday, December 21, 2011

A Break Up With Grace...

Oy vey and on Hanukkah no less.  Actress Debra Messing has split from hubby of 10 years Daniel Zelman.  They parted ways amicably earlier this year yet still live together to take care of their 7 year old son. I really thought those Jews were gonna make it.

Thanks to my Senior Hanukkah-Related-BreakUp-Correspondent in South Philly Yo.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Blockbuster Breakup...

End of an era: The couple who have two adult children together managed almost 30 years together

Well, the cat is out of the bag almost 2 years after their split, it's been confirmed that playwright Sam Sheppard and actress Jessica Lange are no more.  Together since 1982, they decided not to make the news public until now, she has stated they are both pursuing independent lives.  I really thought those ol' kids were gonna make it.

Thanks to my Senior Wait-Until-the-End-of-the-Year-To-Actually-Publish-Your-End-of-the-Year-Wrap-Up Correspondent in sunny Kilcoole for the early morning newstip.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Oh No, Bono, No Go...

Breaking news people! Reports are in that Chaz Bono is no longer with his fiance Jennifer Elia.  Together since 1999, they recently got engaged on the reality show "Becoming Chaz." Pleeeeeease let this show come to Ireland. I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Thanks to my uber aware Senior Cher's Kid Correspondent in Philadelphia.


Just when I thought it was safe to post the end of the year wrap up, another athlete (surprise) is ending his marriage.  Former NFL player and sports commentator Deion Sanders has filed for divorce of his wife of 12 years Pilar.  Apparently the rumours of their split started in September. Maybe Kobe Bryant's news yesterday gave him the chutzpah to announce his own official split.  I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Thanks to my Senior Idiot Athlete Correspondent in NJ for the overnight tip.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

2011 - We Thought All You Kids Were Gonna Make It

Well I can't believe it's December and time for our end of the year wrap up! And what a year we've had, right? The amount of celebrity split ups in 2011 was staggering, coming in at 121.  We really hope next year, famous people will try a little harder to keep it together, I do have a family to run here! To my Senior Correspondents from around the globe, THANK YOU AGAIN for your tireless reporting, and to those of you who read us regularly, a BIG HUG.  You need this important news reported and we're here to break down the break ups. XOXO

Who knew Mila Kunis and Macaulay Culkin were a couple for 8 years? I sure as hell didn't but sadly, they're kaput.
Rosie O'Donnell and her real life "Mike Brady" Tracy Kachtick split up their bunch of 10(!) kids after only a year.
Rock Stars Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz, parents to Bronx Mowgli (seriously, that's actually his name,) sadly finalized their divorce just this month.

Several uber long marriages hit the rocks this year including Gary Collins and Mary Ann Mobley after a whopping 44 years and Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver after 25 years (and let's not forget the discovery his love child with the housekeeper.)  Tony Danza surprised us by splitting up with his wife of 24 years, Tracey.  Hopefully she showed him who was the boss in the settlement, hardy har har!  81-year old astronaut Buzz Aldrin ended his 23 year mission with Lois Driggs Cannon.

Charlie Sheen cashed in on our blog twice this year, losing 2 of his Goddesses and most of his marbles
Winning the award for most searched name on our blog is Luc Carl, former boyfriend of Lady Ga Ga, who's break-up gave me the best subject header ITTKWGMI has ever published-- "No Longer Will He Poke Her Face."  And while I'm discussing subject headers, I can't believe I got no love for the header when Leo Di Caprio and Blake Lively's break-up inspired, "Who's Not Eating Gilbert's Grapes?"  Come on! That's funny!

Jenny Lopez is back on the Block after splitting with Mark Anthony, (but we're waiting patiently for the upcoming break up of her and her backup dancer, we're waiting. Arms crossed, foot tapping. Did she learn nothing with the Cris Judd debacle?)

To be honest, I'm not really sure if Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith are split, I just know, something ain't right up in that relationship.
Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries suck. That's all they get here for their 72 days of nuptials.

Ron Wood - Ronnie Wood
Ron Wood appeared on our blog twice in the less than 2 years we've been up and running, and we just wanted to say, we're honoured and when you're in Wicklow next, please come by for a cuppa, the kettle's always on the boil for you my friend.

The break up of the year has to be............Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. In our hardest of hearts, we were rooting for ya' kids. But your incessant twit-pic-ing bored us within an inch of our lives and we knew ultimately, you'd wind up in our analls.

So at the risk tempting fate, let's raise a glass and toast to the celebrities who keep it together for the long hall
-- Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson, Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rosdale, Rhea Pearlman and Danny De Vito we salute you!  We really know you kids are gonna make it.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

She Doesn't Care Where the (Kobe) Beef Is....

As I update my end of the year post a FIFTH time since I've written it only a earlier this week, I'm here to report another split.  Vanessa "Stand-by-Her-Man" Bryant has filed for divorce against Lakers star Kobe "Cheats-on-His-Woman-and-Sexually-Harrasses-Colorado-Hotel-Workers" Bryant.  I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Reports flooded my inbox overnight from as far away as China and North & South Jersey, thanks to my Senior Cheatin' Athlete Correspondents from around the globe.

Friday, December 16, 2011

Country...It Does What It Says on the Tin...

OK we've got a double hitter here. Country person Rodney Atkins has filed for divorce from his wife Tammy Jo Atkins AND we learned on the same day, that a restraining order has been filed against him due to a Nov 21st arrest for domestic abuse.  Ain't nothin' funny here people.  I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Thanks to my Senior Go-Tammy Jo-Git-them-Dollahs Correspondent in Philadelphia for the newstip.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Not So Perky...

Newscougar Katie Couric (54) and her boyfriend Brooks Perlin (37) have ended their 5 year relationship.  Apparently they were in "different stages in their careers and the split was inevitable."  I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Thanks to my Senior Newswoman - Entrepreneur Relationship Correspondent in San Fran for the tip!

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Smize Through the Tears Tyra...

Tyra Banks and John Utendahl - Tyra Banks at the Metropolitan Opera

America's Next Top Model creator, Tyra Banks, has ended her over 3 year relationship with banker John Utendahl.  If you're looking for her, she's currently on a spiritual trip to Bali to take a break and get over her sadness, something tells me she's not "Smizing" right now.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

No Sugar on this Berry...

A veteran of all-girl manufactured pop groups including Sugababes and Atomic Kitten, Heidi Range and presenter Dave Berry have ended their 8 year relationship. The industry and I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Dancer Becomes Pennyless...

Dancing With The Stars' pro Karina "Don't Call Me Vodka" Smirnoff and MLB pitcher, Brad Penny have split after 2 years. I really don't care, so as you can see, have put no effort into this important announcement. However, I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Thursday, December 1, 2011


Olympic ski-gold-medal-winning-bunny Lindsey Vonn is splitting with her husband, former ski bunny, Thomas Vonn.   Something tells me she doesn't eat much pizza or french fries.  I really thought those kids were gonna make it.