Thursday, January 26, 2012

Was the Price Right?

Clearly there is something in the water again! Another celebrity has announced their split.  Game show host Drew Carey has ended his 5-year engagement with Nicole Jarcasz.  It's amicable and there's no other details.  I really thought those boring kids were gonna make it.

Thanks to the tireless work of our Senior Guy-Can-Work-A-Pair-of-Glasses Correspondent in Philadelphia.

Paypal Account Revoked...

PayPal founder Elon Musk's wife, British actress, Talulah Riley (Pride and Prejudice) has filed for divorce.  Musk announced it on Twitter. Really. A millionaire needs to announce this on Twitter?   Hope he had a pre-nup otherwise he's gonna have to Pay, Pal -- she should make sure he has her proper email.  

Thanks to my duelling Senior Millionaire-Actress-Relationship Correspondents in South Jersey for the overnight news tip. 

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

No More Sax...

Thanks to jet lag, at this point today I don't have the energy for any break-up less than a Brad & Angie.  However, sources just informed us that Kenny G and wife Lyndie Benson-Gorelick are splitting up. Cue the tiny soprano saximaphone.

Thanks to my Howard-Stern-Impersonator Correspondent in Philly for this earth shattering revelation.

Monday, January 23, 2012

X Fracture...

Did you know Tulisa Contostavlos and Fazer from N-Dubz were an item?  I had no idea! Anyway, for the people that read this blog and care about important news as such, I'm here to report, they've separated. They'd known each other since they were 11 and formed a band with her cousin Dappy Contostavlos. Then she became a judge on X Factor (she was the one everyone said, "Who's that?"  and "How do you pronounce her name?" about, or was that just me?) I really thought those kidz were gonna make it.

She Had to Think....Think, Think...

Well I don't think it's a break-up, but the ability to have the Queen of Soul grace our fair pages, I couldn't miss this very important news story!  Aretha Franklin and long-time friend and companion William "Willie" Wilkerson (otherwise known as guy with the best name ever) have called off their wedding because they were moving "a little too fast."  I really hope these kids are gonna make it!

Zzzz Factor...


I could have sworn I reported this break-up already, but apparently Simon Cowell and Mezhgan Hussainy got back together and didn't let me know. Sadly, I'm here to report, they're splitting up again, but this time they're calling it "a break."  Cowell was quoted as saying, "It's not on, it's not off, it's somewhere in the middle. I don't know if I will ever get married, but I am happy."  So I'm not sure why this is making headlines again, I know I sure as hell have better things to do and Gluten Free Pot Pies to eat, but me thinks Simon doth protest too much.  I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Thanks to my Senior Tight-Black-V-Necked-T-Shirt Correspondent in NJ for the early tip!

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Project Run-Away...

UPDATE UPDATE: And, the press was right. It's official.  We really thought those kids were gonna make it.

UPDATE: As I suspected when I decided to write this, I'd be posting an update, says they may not be divorcing but they're in a rough patch. PHEW! Come on you two! If you can't make it, is there hope for any of us??

Original Entry:
What is going on in the world people?? Model Heidi Klum and Grammy Award winner Seal to divorce??? Honestly, I just don't like to report until the LA County papers are ACTUALLY filed. But again, the interweb makes me do it, this IS important and late-breaking news. They've been together 6 years (seems longer doesn't it?) and have a buttload of children.  I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Thanks to my Senior Kiss From A Rose Correspondent in Northfield, NJ for this early news tip.  If I'm wrong here, updates to follow...we're as surprised as Seal is in the photo above.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Shiver Me Timbers!

I truly never thought I'd be writing this blog entry! But reports came in from around the globe that long-time-Pirate, Johnny Depp (48, can you believe he's 48??) and Vanessa Paradis (39) have reportedly split. Together for nearly 14 years, they have apparently been leading separate lives for the past two.  I usually wait to hear it made official before posting, but the explosion of gossip around this break-up is too big to not address!  I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Thanks to my Senior Pirate-French Taxi- Relationship Correspondents in Philadelphia, PA and Shankhill, Ireland.

Shares in Tattoo Removal Spike...

Singer Avril Lavigne and jackanape, Brody Jenner, have split after 2 years.  Our sources revealed that they decided to call it quits because they couldn't agree on their future together.   I could have certainly helped them with that, as I predict a slow slide into obscurity.  Let me remind you all here, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT GET A TATTOO OF YOUR BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND'S name on your body!  Get a butterfly or a skull FFS.  Anyway, although I didn't realize they were together, I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

She Was an American Girl...

Actress Mena Suvari (American Beauty, American Horror Story, American Pie) has cited irreconcirable differences in her divorce filing with baby faced concert promotor Simone Sestito.  Wedded bliss lasted only since 18 months, this is the her 2nd marriage to dissolve.  I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Thanks for the newstip from my Senior American Girl Correspondents in NJ and St Louis! 

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Straight Up, Broken Up...

Paula Abdul has split from boyfriend of a year and a half, record label owner, Jeff Bratton.  It actually went down in November and it was amicable. Jeff made a statement regarding the fact that between both their responsibilities they had little time for each other. I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Monday, January 2, 2012

Punless for Westlife Breakup...


Westlife's Mark Feehily has split from his fiancĂ© Kevin Mc Daid after almost 7 years.  They were due to marry in 2012 but have called it quits and aren't giving any details.  I thought those kids were gonna make it.