Sunday, July 31, 2011

Cold Chill for Arctic Monkey...

Presenter Alexa Chung has split from Arctic Monkeys chief monkey, Alex Turner after a 4-year relationship.  Reports that they'd been distant at recent iTunes Festival and Glastonbury and with her basing herself in NYC and himself on the road, their already strained relationship was doomed.  I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Staked Through the Heart....

No holiday for the weary with this blog! True Blood bohunk, Alexander Skarsgard, is back on the market ladies! Alex and actress Kate Bosworth (who I swear I wouldn't know if I was sitting next to on an airplane) have called it a day after almost 2 years. I really thought those kids were gonna stake it.

Thanks to my attentive Senior Van Helsing Correspondents on the East and West coasts.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

You're Fired...Again!

Sandra Bullock's Ex, Jesse James and tattooed temptress Kat Von D have split. Announcements came via Kat's Twitter. Oh social media networks, is there nothing you can't do? I really REALLY thought those kids were gonna make it. Will find a photo when I'm off the road, this blog never sleeps!

Thanks to my Senior Mechanic-Tattoo Relationship Correspondents in Philadelphia and Goatstown for the tip! Without y'all we are all uninformed.

Monday, July 25, 2011


It's very difficult to post from my iPhone, with sketchy interweb from Craggy Island, but for you dear loyal readers, I will persevere. Former Laguna Beach/Hills, reality villainess, Kristin Cavallari and NFL Quarterback fiancé Jay Cutler have apparently broken up. The news must be reported. I thought those kids were gonna make it.

Thanks to my Senior Reality-Star-Athlete-Relationship Correspondent in Laguna Beach (ironically) for this early news tip!

Friday, July 22, 2011

You are Not the Father (said in my best Maury Povich voice)...

Well my source is a little shakey, but I'm posting anyway!  Looks like musician Rohan Marley and former Fugee, currently pregnant with number SIX, Lauryn Hill are splitting up.  Apparently there's a lot of tweeting going on.  He's tweeting he's not the baby Daddy, his new girlfriend, Brazilian model Isabeli Fontana is tweeting she's in lurve with Rohan.  What did people do before Twitter? I still haven't figured it out!   I thought those kids and all their kids were gonna make it.

Thursday, July 21, 2011


I wonder if he had to cut his arm off to get out of this relationship?  James Franco and girlfriend of almost 5 years Ahna O'Reilly have split. Apparently school, work and a partner were too much for him to handle.  She's gonna be ok, me thinks.  I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Friday, July 15, 2011

Jenny Back On the Block...


Well, I am as speechless as all of you! In a statement released to People Mag, the world has learned that Jennifer Lopez and Mark Anthony have split!  Let's all bow our heads in a moment of silence, we really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Thanks to my Senior Latino Triple Threat Correspondent in Laguna Beach for the heads up, we are nothing without you.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Baldwin Breaks-Up...

                                           Daniel Baldwin, Wife Joanne

Predominently 5 O'clock shadowed and curviest of the Baldwin brothers, Daniel Baldwin, has filed for divorce from his wife Joanne.  Drug and alcohol fueled death threats and violent behaviour (on her part) are believed to be the straw that broke the Baldwin's back. I thought those kids were gonna make it.

Thanks to my forever vigilant Senior Baldwin Correspondent in Northfield, NJ for this late-breaking and very important news tip.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

The Lost Boy....

Actor Kiefer Sutherland has ended his 3-year relationship with Allure magazine style director Siobhan Bonnouvrier.  Supposedly it was a while ago, and no one cared until Us Magazine made us care today.  I thought those kids were gonna make it.