Friday, December 13, 2013

Khloe says No because of Blow...

It's been quiet here in the ITTKWGMI offices, but we couldn't stay dark today when we learned of the sad news that Khloe and Lam Lam are no more. I mean, when they got married exactly 1 month after they met, how could we all not think that this was going to be a rock solid relationship?  You go girl, he doesn't deserve your not 100% Kardashian fineness. But seriously, I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

And because it's been a while, here's a round up since last we've spoken...

Beautiful people Idina Menzel and Taye Diggs have separated after a decade of marriage. Apparently no one digs.

French actor Jean Dujardin and his wife of four years, Alexandra Lamy, have split. You may remember him from that silent movie I never saw. (That is all).

Francesca Eastwood had her marriage of one week annulled.  She drunkly tied the knot Vegas style to Jonah Hill's brother Jordan Feldstein, who basically looks like Jonah circa 2007. Her father reportedly wasn't sure whether he loaded 5 or 6 bullets.

(Getty Images)

Malin Akerman (Children's Hospital and she is awesome) and her Italian muscian husband of 6 years Roberto Zincone have are separating. She's pretty.

I really thought all these kids were gonna make it, I am also sorry for Jordan Feldstein's sweat stains.


Monday, November 4, 2013

Blooms Wilt...

After five years, Timbaland and his wife Monique Mosley are splitting.  She will be seeking all kinds of cizzash to keep her in the lifestyle to which she has grown accustomed.  

Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr have disembarked as well.  Apparently 2 of the 3 years they've been married have been loveless and to go on would be a sham.  He will be setting sail on the seven seas searching for romance again soon...get your bottice fastened ladies.

Thanks to my Senior I'm-So-Sick-of-Writing this Blog Correnspondents in Philly, Delgany and on the North Side for your timely yet used a week later newstips!

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Breaking Up With the Kardashians...

The curse of the reality show strikes yet again, Chris and Bruce Jenner are calling it quits y'all, after 22 years! And yes, I admittedly watch Keeping Up With the Kardashians-- uh, hello, he got himself his own place in Malibu this season, didn't we all see this break-up coming? Let's assume this will make good TV fodder for the next season, (I'll be watching). I really thought these ol' kids were gonna make it.

Thanks to my Decathlete-Momager Relationship Correspondent in St Louis for the newstip!

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Pretty Woeful...

Richard Gere and wife since 2002 Carey Lowell have split and are heading to Divorce Town. Apparently living apart for some time now,  he likes peace and quiet and she's still digging the limelight.  There are no hamsters being cited for the disturbance of this relationship.

inf liam helmsworth miley cyrus jef 130121 wblog Miley Cyrus, Liam Hemsworths Romantic Getaway

And a few weeks back, Twerky Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth split again.  He's already dating a new hottie and sources tell us, she's dating her big foam finger. (I'm sorry.)

I really thought all those crazy kids were gonna make it.

Thanks to my ever vigilant Senior Sad and Fading Disney Star Correspondent in Philly for the news tip 2 weeks ago.

Thursday, August 29, 2013


Clint Eastwood (83)-- we really thought his 17-year marriage to former TV news reporter, Dina Ruiz was rock solid, 'til she started filming a reality series, managing a South African Boy band and he started talking to empty chairs at Republican conventions. They are now heading for Splitsville.  I really thought those May-December kids were gonna make my day.

Thanks to my Senior Dirty Harry Correspondent in Delgany for this late-breaking newstip!

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Who Didn't See This Cunning? Er, Coming?

Well, it was reported to People Magazine that they're taking a break, so that's good enough source for us! Simmer down people, actors Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones are splitting after 13 stinkin' years! Ol' man Douglas is apparently hanging out in his fancy apartment in NYC while she's in their gazillion dollar home up state with kids.

Thanks to my Senior Actor-Actor Relationship Correspondent in Kilcoole for the very early news tip several days ago!

Friday, August 16, 2013

Is This Thing Still On?

Oh look, I'm back and this time it's personal! It's been a lovely summer off for everyone here at the ITTKWGMI offices, but it's time to round-up what we've missed in the last month!

George Clooney and Stacey Keibler have definitely called it quits this time as he didn't want to commit to any mini-Clooneys. I think little babies with 5 o'clock shadows would be adorbs.

Documentary film maker Michael Moore and his wife of 21 years, Kathleen Glynn, have filed for the big D after 21, count 'em, 21 years of marriage!  They stated that there was, "no reasonable likelihood that the marriage could be preserved." Mmmmm delicious preserves.

In the "Country Music People I Don't Care About" files - singers Jana Kramer and Brantley Gilbert have called off their short engagement and ended their lyin', cheatin', cotton pickin', dog dead under the porch relationship. But seriously, they were just busy y'all.

Lily Collins, (you may know her as daughter of Phil) and Jamie Campbell Bower - seemingly both actors, have split. But are doing press for their new movie amicably yo.

Actress and most hysterically funny film writer Kristen Wiig and Fabrizio Moretti (The Strokes) have called their only recently outed relationship quits.  Always a bridesmaid...

G-d this is just so boring.

Actors Paul Wesley and Torrey DeVitto have filed for divorce. They are Vampire something or other related. Insert draining of blood pun here. Yadda.

I really thought all these humans were gonna make it.

Thanks to my Senior Keeping Me On My Toes Correspondent in Philadelphia for one of the updates in this round-up. :)

Monday, July 8, 2013

Pie Taker and Pie Maker...

Comic book villain Rupert Murdoch collects his marbles long enough to file for divorce from Wendi "Takes a pie for her man" Deng, his third wife.  I hope she had a decent pre-nup!

TV sitcom middle child, now bitter, Jodie Sweetin has filed for legal separation from husband Morty Coyle after only 1 year. When filing for irreconcilable differences, she also noted in the margins she required less of a Full House.

After nearly throttling his wife in a "playful tiff" as he called it, multi-millionaire art collector Charles Saatchi and celebrity chef Nigella Lawson are dunzo.  She's currently preparing a dish of hard cheese, sour grapes and humble pie.  

I thought all these kids were gonna make it!

Thanks to my uber informed Senior Correspondent in Philadelphia for sending these tips that I've taken up to almost a month to write about!

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Glee to Flee...

Hey there Campers! It's been a while, and out of no where people are just falling apart! 

Actress Jane Lynch has split from her wife of three years Lara Embry.  They are sad about it.


Vladimir Putin announced on state television that his marriage to Lyudmila is over. After a recent career ruling Russia with his bare chested homo erotic poses taking it's toll on the marriage no one was surprised.

Funny Irish chat show host Graham Norton has split from his boyfriend, Canadian software designer Trevor Patterson after two-years together. He has requested new suitors Tweet him.

Gossip Girl's Penn Badgley has returned to our fair blog as he is splitting up with Zoe "Lenny's daughter" Kravitz.  They'd been shacking up in NYC for the past 2 years. 

I really thought all these kids were gonna make it.

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Round Up, I've been lazy...

I'm late on these, but it's only because I'm slightly losing interest in this blog, don't hate!

Chris Brown and Rihanna are done (again.) Why on earth, the girl who could have anyone, would go back to Angry Mc Puncherson is beyond me. So let's hope this is the end for these kids.

Kellan Lutz of the Twilight Thingys has split from Australian-model-actress-dancer Sharni Vinson, his girlfriend of about 18 months. Go run forth and bag him ladies, you know you loves him!

In other Vampire related news, Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev, The Vampire Diaries co-stars, have called it quits after 3 years. We don't know who these people are, nor do we care.

Crystal Bowersox, American Idol finalist (she was actually great) and Brian Walker have ended their 2 year marriage. Their marriage did however last longer than most American Idol related careers.

Character actors (just IMDB them if you actually care) Anna Camp and Michael Mosley have announced they're dunzo. Now they can go back to their regularly scheduled programs.

Jason Aldean and wife Jessica Ussery have separated following Aldean's cheating scandal with Brittany Kerr in September 2012.

Country Music singing, 10-gallon hat wearing Jason Aldean and high-school sweetheart Jessica Ussery are getting a divorce.  He was caught kissing an American Idol contestant (Brittany Kerr) and 7 months later they're done, ending their 11 year marriage. Hopefully his songwriting has rubbed off on her and she can write a song about this lying, cheating, mistreating cretin.

I really thought those kids were gonna make it.  I really did.

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Beam Him Up...

New Star Trek actor Chris Pine and from what I gathered based on Google Image search, model, Dominique Piek have boldly parted ways after a yearish long relationship. Warp speed to the next model Chris.  I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Monday, April 22, 2013

Happy Birthday to Me....Why Don't You Download a Song for Charity!

Dear I Just Thought Those Kids Were Gonna Make It loyal readers. 

Today is my birthday, and I was hoping to celebrate that I'd be closer to my goal for

It only takes a few minutes, you get a lovely song and that feel good feeling, please consider donating today!


Monday, April 15, 2013

Jane! Stop this Crazy Thing....

Apparently 4th time is NOT the charm for British actress, Jane Seymour, who  has confirmed the break-up from her actor-director husband, James Keach, after a 20 year marriage!  I really thought those ol' kids were gonna make it.

Thanks to my Senior Old Guy Mc Bearderson Correspondent in Philadelphia for the late breaking newstip.

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Heart of Stone...

Amicable break-up alert. Joss Stone and childhood sweetheart Danny Radford have split due to "drift apart" syndrome. It happens yo. Can you believe she's only 25? I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Potential big break-up news coming people, stay tuned...

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Are they or Aren't They?

Malcolm Jamal Warner (you may remember him as Theo Huxtable) has split from actress Regina King after a 2-year relationship. Rumour has it, Theo had been borrowing his Dad's sweaters and Regina just couldn't take it anymore. (Although we're not 100% sure as Regina tweeted that we shouldn't believe everything we read and that they are good. So we'll chalk this one up to a maybe and stay tuned, I usually don't report unless it's official, but I was already half-way through writing it before I saw her tweet and....) I really think those kids are gonna make it.

Thanks to my crack 80's-Sitcom-Relationship Correspondent in Maine for the newstip!

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Let's Hope 3rd Times the Charm...

In case you missed it, Katy Perry (and both of her boobs) has split from on-again-off-again ManChild (did I just say that?) John Mayer. Rumour has it she's "left a window open" though, here's hoping it falls on his head when he tries to climb back in cause grrrrrrl, you can do better! However I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Seacrest Out...

Golden boy Ryan Seacrest and golden haired dancer/(singer/actress?) Julianne Hough have confirmed their split. We don't know why, but we think it's because Ryan is planning on marrying his microphone.  I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Monday, March 11, 2013

Suddenly I See, A Divorce Lawyer...

KT Tunstall divorcing drummer, husband Luke Bullen, who she had been dating since 2003. She was relieved she no longer has to help him carry his 26-piece kit from the car to the house after gigs anymore. I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Break Up Squared...

Power actor couple Rachel McAdams (34) and Michael Sheen (44) have called it quits. No official word, but I'm thinking it was the distance - she lived in Canada and he lived between Wales and LA, that's a lot of frequent flyer miles I tells ya, does time travelling count? 

Also this happened.

Michelle Williams and BF of 1 year Jason Segel are dunzo. Also due to the long distance.

I really thought all these kids were gonna make it yo.

Thanks to my crack team of Senior Actor-Actress Relationship Correspondents in Delgany, North Carolina and NJ for the hot news tips that I ignored until I was finished having a playdate and cooking 3 different dinners.

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Cowell to Spend More Time Gazing in the Mirror...

Simon Cowell (53) confirmed his split with actress-slash-singer Carmen Elektra (40) and announced he does want a new girlfriend. So roll up, roll up ladies! His highness of the tight black T is accepting applications.

Thursday, February 21, 2013


Just in time for the Oscars, 2 Oscar nominated actors are splitting up. Josh Brolin and Diane Lane are calling it quits after 8 years. No drama, just over. I really thought those A-list kids were gonna make it.

Thanks to my ever watchful Senior Barbara Streisand-Mother-in-Law-Outsiders Relationship Correspondent in NJ for this fresh tip.

Saturday, February 2, 2013

I Need a Vacation from my Vacation...

Well I go on vacation and all hell breaks loose! 

Let's take it from the most important to the least important news...

Ashley Judd and and race-car-guy husband Dario Franchitti are headed to Splitsville after 11 years of marriage  Apparently this is bad news for Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell as Judd is considering whether to jump into politics and challenge him in Kentucky in 2014. Go on girl!

American Pie's Seann (with 2 N's?) William Scott (with 2 T's) has split from his Victoria's Secret model fiancee Lindsay Frimodt, ending their 11-month engagement, clearly stiffed.

It seems that Nikita star Lyndsy Fonseca (who?) has just filed for divorce from her husband of nearly four years Matt "Not-Smiling-Anymore" Smiley.

Teen Mom 2 "star" (my favourite of the Moms I have to admit) Jenelle Evans and new hubby Courtland Rogers are dunzo after 26 days of marriage. This gal just needs to take care of her kid. Just sayin'.

Model Liberty Ross has filed for divorce from movie director (Snow White And The Huntsman) Rupert Sanders (of the alleged affair with Kristen Stewart). No fairy tale ending here.

I really thought all these kids were gonna make it yo.

Thanks to my tireless Senior Holding Down the Fort Correspondents in NJ and Philadelphia for the newstips!

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Hungry For New Love...

Jennifer Lawrence (The Hunger Games) and long-time boyfriend British actor, Nicholas Hoult are now living in Splitsville, (honestly, it's exhausting trying to think of a different way to say broken up). Here's what I learned about Nicholas whenst searching for an image for this entry - he likes plaid, he really likes plaid.  I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Thanks to my Senior Young-Hot-Actor Correspondent in Northfield for the overnight late-breaking tip.