Friday, March 25, 2011

Back to His Hurt Locker...

How'd I miss this very important news? Actress Robin Wright (formerly Sean Penn's wife) and Oscar-winning 'Hurt Locker' producer and nice Jewish boy, Greg Shapiro, have called it a day after their year-ish long relationship .  I really thought those kids were gonna make it. 

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Will Holly be at an All Time Low?

Aw, another one proverbially bites it here in Splitsville.  Holly Madison (The Girls Next Door) and her boyfriend Jack Barakat (guitarist, All Time Low, that's a band in case you've never heard of him either) have split amicably.  When a couple meets on Twitter, it means we REALLY thought those kids were gonna make it. Insert sad face emoticon here.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Party's Over for Party Boy...

Early reports in, that Chris Pontius-- "Party Boy," from Jackass, is divorcing his wife Claire Nolan. She's pretty.  They've been married since 2004. That's all she wrote!  I thought those kids were gonna make it.

Thanks for the heads up from my Senior Jackass Correspondent in South Jersey!

Friday, March 18, 2011

Just Walk Away Renee...

Bradley Cooper and Renee Zellweger have called it quits after less than two years together.   What do you think it is about ol' hamster cheeks that she can't keep a good man down, you know what I mean, down in her nether regions?   I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Thanks to my Senior Rodent Impersonating Actress Relationship Correspondent in North Jersey for the early news tip!

If I knew a thing about Jonas Bros or Twilight There'd Be a Pun Here...

...but it's early, and I don't, sorry...ANYWAY, As much as I want another Jonas brother to be closer to having relations, the sad news is-- the break-up of Joe Jonas and actress Ashley Greene (Twilight) have moved to Splitsville.  I really thought those kids were gonna make it. Darn.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

And a Patridge in a Pear Tree...

Not sure how I missed this in the madness earlier this week, but this important "star" couple is off again. The Hills reality gal Audrina Patridge (who apparently has her own show in the works) and her BMX-guy Corey Bohan have split again after last year's reconciliation. We're all very heartbroken about this, because we thought those kids were gonna make it.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Another Break-Up Hat Trick...

Well, I am reminded that break-ups do happen in 3's as a flurry of emails flooded my box overnight to inform me of all the news....and now, I shall inform you, get the tissues...

After two years, Ashley Olsen and Justin Bartha, have called it a day. (Something about her not wanting to wait for him to settle down, and lots of partying on his part on the set of The Hangover 2.)  I find it hard knowing who she is without Mary Kate right next to her, took me a minute to process their bad news.

After TWENTY FOUR years, irreconcilable differences is the reason why Tony and Tracey Danza are calling it quits. (They've been separated since 2006 so we did see this one coming.) This begs the question, Who truly IS the Boss now?

And what will bring a tear to all of your eyes, sit down people--Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel have confirmed they too will be splitting up. They started dating in 2007 and we've been waiting to write this post since, well, 2007.  What about the puppies????

I really thought all these kids were gonna make it, REALLY.

Thanks to my Senior Overnight Gossip Correspondents around the globe in Ireland, Philly, South Jersey and of course Laguna Beach!

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Good Byeeeee, Mc Fly....

Dougie Poynter, bassist from Mc Fly, is reportedly in 'rehab' to nurse a broken heart following his split with his girlfriend from girl-band The Saturdays', Frankie Sandford.  They broke up in November. But for some reason this is late-breaking news, and I'm just here to report it folks.  So Boyband Boy and Girlband Girl are breaky-breaky. Boy is sad. Girl has moved on to West Ham footballer Wayne Bridge.  I think THOSE kids are gonna make it, let's wait and see.

What an Esebag...

2 months after giant-lipped, Australian model Sophie Monk (31) said "Yes" to millionaire 50-year-old American businessman Jimmy Esebag, she has called it off.  I really thought those kids were gonna make it.  

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Who's Gonna Get the Little House on Their Prairie?

OK, SERIOUSLY, a pillar of Hollywood relationships are these kids, and I truly thought they were gonna make it!  Melissa Gilbert (Little House on the Prairie/Lifetime Movie Actress Extraordinaire) and Bruce Boxleitner (Babylon 5/ and a butt-load of Lifetime Movies as well), have announced today that they have separated after 16 years! Damn!

Thanks to my Senior B-List Actor Correspondent from Goatstown, Dublin for the tip.