Friday, November 25, 2011

Long Stripey Scarf Wearing Women Rejoice...

Daisy Lowe (the 22 year old model daughter of Bush lead singer Gavin Rossdale) and young Dr. Who actor, Matt Smith (29) are no mo.  It took me all day to try to find something clever to say about them, and honestly, I got nothing. I thought those kids were gonna make it.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Contrived Reality Break-Up Inevitably Happens...

Bachelorette couple Ali Fedotowsky and Roberto Martinez have split up after an 18-month engagement. Shock, horror, I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Thanks to my Senior I Could Give Two Sh*ts About The Bachelor or Bachelorette Correspondent in St Louis for this obvious it was gonna happen newstip.   Notice how I went for the Thanksgiving themed photo? Have a great holiday everybody!!!

Thursday, November 17, 2011

No, We're Not Being Punked...

Well, I certainly should have had this post already written and ready to go, but I surely didn't believe it was actually going to happen. However, let's all bow our heads in a very long moment of silence, as Demi Moore (49) has released a statement to the Associated Press that she is in fact ending her six-year marriage to Ashton Kutcher (33.)  Let's remember the good, (their DNA Foundation to combat human trafficking) the bad, (Kaballah and the fact that he's called her "Wifey" on Twitter for 6 years) and the ugly (Striptease & 2 and a Half Men.)  I really thought those kids were gonna make it. I really really thought so. Sigh.

Special thanks to my Senior Not Real Jew on Not Real Jew Correspondent in St Louis for this extremely late breaking newstip!

No Longer Her Velvet TeddyBear...

Season 2 American Idol winner Ruben Studdard has filed for divorce with his wife of 3 years, Surata Zuri McCants, citing irreconcirable differences, they have no children.  The pair met during one of his album signings in Walmart, dated for 2 years and then wed with 20, count them 20 groomsmen by his side! They were just there to help make him look a little slimmer. I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Thanks to my Senior American Idol Relationship Correspondent in NJ for the overnight newstip!

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Another Avatar Actor Down...

Actor Joel Moore, (who wins the award for gracing our blog with the Jewiest face ever,) you may remember him as scientist Norm Spellman from Avatar, (then again, you may not,) has split from his wife Kineret Karen Ben Yishay Moore, (who wins the award for gracing our blog with the Jewiest name ever.) They'd been married a little over two years and they have no children.  I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Thanks to my ever vigilant Senior Jew on Jew Correspondent in NJ for this overnight news tip. 

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Melrose Couple MisPlaced...

TV's own golden couple Heather Locklear and Jack Wagner have confirmed the engagement is off, but it's not confirmed they're actually broken up, so stay tuned people and check back for late breaking and very important news updates. Do you think it's because she stumbled upon his 1984 appearance on Solid Gold?   I really still think these kids are gonna make it.

Thanks to the early newstip from our Senior Ex-Melrose Place Residents Correspondent in Shankhill.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Avatar Actress has the Blues...

Actress Zoe Saldana has split from fiance of 11 years, entrepreneur, Keith Britton. They have a business together, and have apparently split amicably so don't freak out people, My Fashion Data Base is gonna be ok! Sadly though, I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Special thanks to my Senior Extra-Terrestrial Pandoran Correspondent from Philadelphia for a newstip she didn't think worthy, but without, we would all be in the dark, thanks for working on a Sunday.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Who's Chelsea Broken Up With Lately?

Talk show host and lover of vodka, Chelsea Handler has returned to our fair blog as we've just learned the news of her split from boyfriend of one year (and Uma Thurman's ex) hotelier and Richie Mc Richerson, Andre Balasz.   I've said it before and I'll say it again, can't a pretty-funny girl keep a boyfriend???? I thought those kids were gonna make it.

Friday, November 4, 2011

Curbing Her Enthusiasm...

Well we're having a busy week here over at the ITTKWGMI offices. News just in that actress Vivica A Fox (47) and fiancĂ© Atlanta club promoter Omar "Slim" White (28) have broken off their impending nuptials.  Engaged since January and together a year before that, it's not yet confirmed who split from whom, what we can confirm is....we really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Thanks to my super vigilant Senior Giant Knockers-Club Promoter Relationship Correspondent in Philadelphia for this late breaking news tip.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Taking the Ride in the Relationship Death Cab...

Actress Zooey Deschanel and leader of Death Cab for Cutie, Ben Gibbard have broken up after 2 years of marriage.  Emo girls everywhere rejoice at the news. I thought those kids were gonna make it.

Thanks so much to my Senior Global Actress-Indie Rock Relationship correspondents for chiming in from Philadelphia and Black Rock.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Sour Grapes and Hard Cheese on the Menu at Le Bec-Fin...

Our Senior Regional Restaurant Relationship Correspondent in Bluebell, PA informed us of the break up of Le Bec-Fin chef Georges Perrier and his wife Andrea Rosenstiehl. Our correspondent felt the Eastern seaboard needed to be informed of this very important information and apologizes to the rest of our worldwide readership who could care less.  The only time I've ever seen the inside of Philadelphia's old school schmancyness is when I worked at the travel agency next door and got change from the bar downstairs, or to drop off an occasional piece of mail. Anyway, I really thought those kids were gonna make it.