Friday, December 31, 2010

Little Ditty, About John and Elaine...

Just because it's New Year's Eve, it doesn't mean that there isn't ONE MORE relationship bound for splitsville!  After 2 decades, John and Elaine Mellencamp are splitting up, sources say they "are proud of their 20 years together and are very happy with their accomplishments both as parents and as a family."
I really thought those kids were gonna make it, didn't you?

Happy New Year Everybody,  see you on the other side!

Thanks to my Senior Little Pink House Correspondents in Washington, DC and Bejing, China (seriously) for the overnight tip!

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Ri Ri and Matt Kemp are not Hitting it Out of the Park...

Singer Rihanna and Los Angeles Dodgers outfielder Matt Kemp have split after their 11 month relationship.  Sources say he was sick of her schedule and wanted someone local, and she was "over it."  I guess he won't be standing under her UmbrelLA elLA-elLA (get it, he's from LA--come on, it's exhausting thinking of puns for these people.) 

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Another Soccer Player Down...

Landon Donovan, American soccer player, (you may remember him as the star of the U.S. national team during the 2010 World Cup,) filed for divorce from his actress wife Bianca Kajlich (Rules of Engagement.)  Aw, I thought these kids were gonna make it, at least through Xmas!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

2010 - We Really Thought All These Kids Were Gonna Make It...Year End Wrap Up!

Well, I only started this here blog in August, but I think I'm still allowed to do a year end review, right?  There were SO many break-ups this year, at one point I felt like this was a full-time job! Thank you so much for  reading this little labour of love, following us, adding us to your Blog Readers, checking in daily and sending in your tips! Let's hope there's less love lost in 2011 because I'm exhausted!


And in no particular order, the break-up highlights of 2010....

Courteney Cox and David Arquette - One of the biggest surprise break-ups of 2010, but they're not REALLY broken up after 11 years of marriage, they're on a break, OK?

Mel Gibson and Oksana Grigorieva - Best. taped. angry. phone. messages. leaked. to. the. media. ever.

Eva Longoria and Tony Parker -  Proof that sexting IS cheating, got that fellas?

Jesse James and Sandra Bullock - Only moments after she scored her Oscar and declared her love for Jesse and how he's "got her back,"  this A-hole breaks her sugary sweet heart.  I kind of liked him after Celebrity Apprentice,  and to be honest, I'm not even a fan of hers....but in this one, I'm keeping Sandra.

Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman -  All this one means to me is one more nice Jewish music executive is back on the market ladies...

Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren -  Cheaters never win...$110 million smackers settlement's gotta hurt, FORE!

Michael C. Hall and Jennifer Carpenter - I just never really got past the sibling on TV thing, I'm just glad they didn't split WHILE he was dealing with Cancer.

Melissa Etheridge and Tammy Lynn Michaels - 9 years and a set of twins later, Tammy Lynn now complains she doesn't have money for food,  I really didn't have much to say about these gals, just wanted to include them in the round-up for equality purposes...girls break up too people.

Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carrey - I really loved these guys together, and I won't accept their break-up, I'm holding out for a reunion.

George and Ann Lopez - 17 years and a kidney, no pre-nup, as long as she has a good lawyer, I think Ann's gonna do just fine!

Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds- Somewhere in North America, Alanis Morisette is wringing her hands with a very evil laugh.

Charlize Theron and Stuart Townsend - Another 9-year relationship down the drain, she dumped the Dublin-born actor/director because she felt they were more like brother and sister...ouch...that's gotta hurt.

Marilyn Manson and Evan Rachel Wood - On again, off again, on again, off again, just go cut yourselves.

Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Effron - This one actually lasted a lot longer than I thought it would!

And to Slash & Perla, Heidi & Spencer, Ben Harper & Laura Dern, Cameron & A-Rod - all of the reported "back-on-agains,"  we'll be sleeping with one eye open!

Notice there was no mention of a single Cyrus? Doh! I was so close!

Happy Holidays and a Wonderful New Year to you all!! 

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Insert Obligatory Nip/Tuck Pun Here...

All I'm saying is, I'm getting a little tired of revising the year end wrap up I started last week! Actor Dylan Walsh (Nip/Tuck) has filed for divorce from his wife of six years, actress Joanna Going (Bunch of TV Sh*te).  There is something happening in Hollywood this week, don't drink the water if you'd like to keep your partner I guess!  I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

B Listers Jumping on Break-Up Bandwagon...

I mean seriously, what the hell is happening in the world?  Actress Anna Friel (Pushing Daisies)  and  David Thewlis (Harry Potter), have reportedly called it quits on their 9-year relationship.  I thought those kids were gonna make it.

Separation In Translation...

I honestly can't believe the week we've had here, but the news I must report. Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds have taken a left turn into Splitsville, USA after they tied the knot 2 years ago.  Could it have anything to do with the fact that he was just named People Magazine's sexiest man alive? Hmmmm.... I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

The folks here in the ITTKWGMI offices would like to thank our first on the scene Senior Correspondent in Laguna Beach.

Monday, December 13, 2010

On Screen Siblings, Off Screen Divorce...

There is no sleep for the weary here in the Blogosphere. I woke up to reports from both the East and West coast of America that Dexter stars Michael C. Hall and his TV-sister-real-life-wife, Jennifer Carpenter are splitting up! This is a record day in break-up history, I tells ya!  Married only 2 years, sources say they've been separated for some time and are officially filing for divorce.  A TV serial killer and a detective is the last bad sides I'd like to get on, so with heavyness in my heart, I truly thought those kids were gonna make it G-d Dammit.

High School Funeral...

Say it ain't so people!  The pillars of strength in young, hot Hollywood have turned to salt!  Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens have split up with no dramatic ending, they just decided to call it a day.  I will be getting out my old ACHS Cheerleading uniform tonight and do some spread eagle V jumps in their honour.  And those of you who are reading this blog, that may remember I wasn't actually ON the squad, I did wear the uniform when singing The Pointer Sisters' "Jump" at a fashion show at the Sands Casino and never turned it back in, and while it may be a little tight, I will still try to make Zac and Vanessa proud.

Thanks for the tip from my Senior Ex-Cheerleader Consultant Correspondent  in Laguna Beach

Two Break-ups - One Affair...

Former Australian cricket star Shane Warne has split from his wife, while reports link him to model/actress Elizabeth Hurley.  And if the story couldn't get any juicer, Liz has confirmed her split with her  husband, business tycoon Arun Nayar.  I guess the tabloids have forced these two to 'fess up.  I really thought all those kids were gonna make it!

UPDATE: Our sources tell us  Elizabeth Hurley has dumped Shane Warne only  a week after their relationship was made public.  Apparently she was angered by Warne as he was busted for sending suggestive text messages to another woman. 

Friday, December 10, 2010

Allllrighty then...

Jane Carey, the 23-year-old daughter of Jim Carey and his first wife Melissa Womer, has split from her husband Alex Santana (a.k.a "Nitro" from the metal band Blood Money.) The couple, who've only been married for a year, will continue to be friends, as well as devoted parents to their 9-month-old son, Jackson Riley. Man, I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Kardashian says Kaput to Kanadian...

Oh Kim, when will you find your true love? This isn't so much as a "break up" but a continued Kardashian watch. Sources tell Life & Style ,that Kardashian has ended her stint with short-term boyfriend, model-slash-Halle Berry's-baby-Daddy, Gabriel Aubry.  I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

I Don't Really Classify this as News but...X Marks the Spot...

2010 'X Factor' Finalist Matt Cardle was dumped by the show's stylist Grace Woodward, his short-time girlfriend, AND has lost his voice in advance of the live 'X Factor' show tonight.  He was informed their romance was ca-put after she caught him flirting with backing dancers.  Their fight was basically a monologue on her part, because Matt couldn't fight back, as he was to speak as little as possible with his  laryngitis.  I just want someone to rub this kid's shoulders so he can relax a little bit, because his shoulders are permanently hunched up to his ears when he sings!  Oh well, I thought those kids were gonna make it!

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Divorce, Party of One...

Well isn't she sneaky? Actress Neve Campbell (Scream) and John Light, her English actor husband (nothing to put here in parenthesis because I've never heard of anything he's been in, seriously, huge list on and I got nothin') of 3 years, filed for divorce back in the summer and nobody found out 'til now.  Good on 'em for keeping it on the DL!  Awww, I thought those kids were gonna make it.

Thanks to my Senior Party of Five Correspondent and St Louis for the overnight tip!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Another Two Bite The Dust...

Holy break up Batman! Two breakups in one morning, just before I have to get the girl to school and myself off to a coffee morning, so here we go...

Counting Crows frontman Adam Duritz (might I add Member of the Tribe) and his actress-22-years-younger gal-pal, Emmy Rossum, have split after one year.  Don't think she'll be coming "Round" there anymore, eh?  I thought those kids were gonna make it!

AND because one break-up wasn't enough...

The awesome Jennifer Jason Leigh (Fast Times at Ridgemont High) has filed for divorce from her director/writer husband Norm (also a Jew) Baumbach (The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou).  She'll be a single white female again-- just thought I'd state the obvious because no other gossip column's gonna use that one I bet, you heard that one here first people. However, I really thought those kids were gonna make it!

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Kate's Heart Will Go On...

Kate Winslet has reportedly split from her hubba hubba model boyfriend of just four months, Louis Dowler.  Apparently she had enough of this hottie and wants to concentrate on her kids and her career.  A friend reported that although they had a good time, it just wasn't working out for her and she needed space.   (This after the split of her and Sam Medes in March. Girl's been busy!)  However, I thought those kids were gonna make it.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

He's Not Her Sk8ter Boi Anymore...

Pop-star Avril Lavigne and Deryck Whibley, leader of rock band Sum 41, have finalized their divorce. MmmmKay?  They each get to keep the rights to their song catalogues, awards and guitars. Isn't that civil of them?  I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Desperate Housewife Hits Desperate Times...or not?

Two basketball players in the same week move to Splitsville, what is the world coming to?

Tony Parker filed for divorce from Eva Longoria after three long years of marrital bliss. I REALLY THOUGHT these kids were gonna make it! (But secretly I've been waiting for the day I'd be posting this blog entry.)

UPDATE: Apparently this is only a rumour. We at ITTKWGMI do not like to report untruths but when the rumour mills start spinning sometimes we act a little too fast! So we'll just keep our ears peeled for any more details but consider this story a rumour! Phew, maybe they will make it!

UPDATED UPDATE NOV17: Well, if US Weekly AND USA Today report it, it HAS to be true. Eva Longoria is heartbroken after finding texts between Tony and a friend. They are reportedly splits.

Thanks to my Senior D4 Recurrent Burglary Victim Correspondent for the tip!

Monday, November 15, 2010

Slam Divorce....

Phoenix Suns basketball star Steve Nash, and his wife, Alejandra Amarilla, have announced they're divorcing.  After the birth of their 3rd baby, he stated, "Alejandra and the baby are doing fine. But this is a bittersweet moment for my wife and I; after five years, we are now in the process of dissolving our marriage."  She's so damn pretty,  I don't think her and her 3 kids are going to have trouble finding a new Daddy, do you?  I thought those kids were gonna make it.

Friday, November 12, 2010

2 Pop Groups, 1 Break Up...

Singers Marvin Humes of the boy band JLS, (spawn of X Factor) and Rochelle Wiseman of girl pop group The Saturdays have called it quits. I actually feel dirty for writing this blog entry. Someone please help me wipe this off. Thought these kids were gonna make it.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

He's Not Her Constant Gardener Anymore....

After nine years together, actress Rachel Weisz (The Lovely Bones) and director Darren Aronofsky (The Wrestler) have decided to call it quits.  They've got a four-year-old son, Henry, (but were never married.)  Damn, I thought these crazy kids were gonna make it.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Second Cyrus Split, Say That 5 Times Fast....

On again-off again Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth, are reportedly off again. OK?  Two Cyrus splits in the same month!  Keeping us very busy over here in the ITTKIWGMI Wicklow head office.  We really knew these kids weren't gonna make it. But news is news, and we must inform you.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Strike Out for A-Rod and Cameron Diaz...

Alls I'm saying is, can a funny-pretty sistah keep a boyfriend?  Although only together 7 months, this is still news to ITTKWGMI (that's me) none-the-less!  Actress Cameron Diaz and New York Yankees star Alex Rodriguez have split,  supposedly he was tired of her.  Did y'all really think this one was gonna stick?  She's already been seen out on the town Glee star Matthew Morrison.  Oh well, I thought those kids were gonna make it.

Thanks for the tip from my Senior Athletes-Who-Date-Actresses Correspondent in Philadelphia.  Couldn't do this without ya!

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Vampire Changes Postal Code...

After about two years of together, 'Twilight' oily beau hunk, Kellan Lutz (is he even a Vampire in the saga? I've never seen any of it) and AnnaLynne McCord of the new 90210 have split. According to the gossip-o-sphere they were quite on-again-off-again.  I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Post Halloween Break-Up Creepyness....

You may remember him as Eddie Munster, child-star all growns up, Butch Patrick, has split from his girlfriend and former Philadelphia Eagles cheerleader Donna Mc Call. I thought those kids were gonna make it, really.

Sorry Charlie....

Like we all didn't see this one coming?  Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller have filed for divorce. Charlie filed, citing irreconcilable differences and he wants joint custody of the twins, and by twins I mean their 1 year old sons Bob and Max.  I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

In other news, earlier this year we reported that Slash and his wife Perla Ferrar were splitting. But like the nice Jewish boy that he is, he is choosing to work it out and cancel the petition for separation! You go Slash. Mazel.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

And the silicon chip inside her head got switched to overload...

Peaches Geldof, 21, has split from her nice Jewish film director boyfriend Eli Roth, 38.  Let's all do the math on this one. 17 years, that's a big one. Who were you dating when you were 21? Did you really think these kids were gonna make it? 
In other related news, I saw Bob Geldof in Glasthule Village a few weeks ago as he was walking behind the hearse at his sister's funeral. So poor Peaches remembers the loss of her Mom now 10 years, has lost her Grandfather and her Aunt and now her boyfriend.  Let's not take the piss.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

A Nice Day for a White Wigging...

Not a whole lot of details on this one other than Randy Travis and his wife Elizabeth (who was also his manager for 34 years) have divorced after 19 years of marriage. She rocks a white wig like it's nobody's bid-ness!  I thought those two were gonna make it I tells ya!

Thanks for the tip off from my young and vivacious Senior Country-Music-Couple Correnspondent in Bloomfield, NJ

Friday, October 29, 2010

I Go Away for 1 Night and All Hell Breaks Loose!

Singer Billy Ray Cyrus and his wife Tish are ending their 17-year marriage.  Insert proverbial "Achy Breaky Heart" pun here yourselves, I'm just too tired.  The parents of actress/singer Miley Cyrus, (you may also know her as Hannah Montana) have filed for divorce.  Sources say they are trying to “work through some personal matters” and appreciate our support. I really thought those kids were gonna make it, dammit!

UPDATE: Looks like Us Weekly reported that Tish had herself an affair with Bret Michaels!  As much as I like the guy based on his Apprentice appearance, Ewwww, how many women do you think he's actually gotten down and dirty with? Oh Tish, really? Bret's camp and Tish are apparently denying the allegations. But we report the very important news that shouldn't be overlooked.

After a three year run, Blake Lively and Penn Badgley, (actors from TV sensation Gossip Girl,) have decided to call it quitsies.  Um, which one is Blake and which one is Penn?  

Thanks for the tip from my Senior Young Hollywood Same TV Show Relationship Correspondent in Brooklyn, NY.

Monday, October 25, 2010

The Laughter is Over for French and Henry...

Comedien Lenny Henry and Comedianne Dawn French, have divorced amicably on the grounds of his "unreasonable behaviour" after 25 years of marriage.  A "quickie" divorce was granted to Dawn by the District Judge. No details of the unreasonable behaviour were given in divorce documents made public today, however I'm going guess it was his purple top hat.  I REALLY thought those kids were gonna make it!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

This Post is for Fans of the Real Housewives of OC only...

...because no one else would know who these "celeb-realities" are, or care for that matter!  The Real Housewives of Orange County star, Vicki Gunvalson,  filed for divorce from husband Donn Gunvalson.  They have been married for 16 years and renewed their vows on the show in 2009. I really thought those ol' kids were gonna make it.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Shia and Carey are La Beoufed...

When Shia LaBeouf fell for his Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps co-star Carey Mulligan, our hearts filled with joy, didn't they? But word is Carey is moving back to jolly ol' England and leaving Shia in her pixie dust.  I really thought those kids were gonna make it.  What is it, break up week? Jaysus!

Thanks for the tip from our Senior Young Hollywood Half-Jewish Actors Correspondent in Bloomfield NJ.