Friday, December 31, 2010

Little Ditty, About John and Elaine...

Just because it's New Year's Eve, it doesn't mean that there isn't ONE MORE relationship bound for splitsville!  After 2 decades, John and Elaine Mellencamp are splitting up, sources say they "are proud of their 20 years together and are very happy with their accomplishments both as parents and as a family."
I really thought those kids were gonna make it, didn't you?

Happy New Year Everybody,  see you on the other side!

Thanks to my Senior Little Pink House Correspondents in Washington, DC and Bejing, China (seriously) for the overnight tip!

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Ri Ri and Matt Kemp are not Hitting it Out of the Park...

Singer Rihanna and Los Angeles Dodgers outfielder Matt Kemp have split after their 11 month relationship.  Sources say he was sick of her schedule and wanted someone local, and she was "over it."  I guess he won't be standing under her UmbrelLA elLA-elLA (get it, he's from LA--come on, it's exhausting thinking of puns for these people.) 

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Another Soccer Player Down...

Landon Donovan, American soccer player, (you may remember him as the star of the U.S. national team during the 2010 World Cup,) filed for divorce from his actress wife Bianca Kajlich (Rules of Engagement.)  Aw, I thought these kids were gonna make it, at least through Xmas!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

2010 - We Really Thought All These Kids Were Gonna Make It...Year End Wrap Up!

Well, I only started this here blog in August, but I think I'm still allowed to do a year end review, right?  There were SO many break-ups this year, at one point I felt like this was a full-time job! Thank you so much for  reading this little labour of love, following us, adding us to your Blog Readers, checking in daily and sending in your tips! Let's hope there's less love lost in 2011 because I'm exhausted!


And in no particular order, the break-up highlights of 2010....

Courteney Cox and David Arquette - One of the biggest surprise break-ups of 2010, but they're not REALLY broken up after 11 years of marriage, they're on a break, OK?

Mel Gibson and Oksana Grigorieva - Best. taped. angry. phone. messages. leaked. to. the. media. ever.

Eva Longoria and Tony Parker -  Proof that sexting IS cheating, got that fellas?

Jesse James and Sandra Bullock - Only moments after she scored her Oscar and declared her love for Jesse and how he's "got her back,"  this A-hole breaks her sugary sweet heart.  I kind of liked him after Celebrity Apprentice,  and to be honest, I'm not even a fan of hers....but in this one, I'm keeping Sandra.

Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman -  All this one means to me is one more nice Jewish music executive is back on the market ladies...

Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren -  Cheaters never win...$110 million smackers settlement's gotta hurt, FORE!

Michael C. Hall and Jennifer Carpenter - I just never really got past the sibling on TV thing, I'm just glad they didn't split WHILE he was dealing with Cancer.

Melissa Etheridge and Tammy Lynn Michaels - 9 years and a set of twins later, Tammy Lynn now complains she doesn't have money for food,  I really didn't have much to say about these gals, just wanted to include them in the round-up for equality purposes...girls break up too people.

Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carrey - I really loved these guys together, and I won't accept their break-up, I'm holding out for a reunion.

George and Ann Lopez - 17 years and a kidney, no pre-nup, as long as she has a good lawyer, I think Ann's gonna do just fine!

Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds- Somewhere in North America, Alanis Morisette is wringing her hands with a very evil laugh.

Charlize Theron and Stuart Townsend - Another 9-year relationship down the drain, she dumped the Dublin-born actor/director because she felt they were more like brother and sister...ouch...that's gotta hurt.

Marilyn Manson and Evan Rachel Wood - On again, off again, on again, off again, just go cut yourselves.

Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Effron - This one actually lasted a lot longer than I thought it would!

And to Slash & Perla, Heidi & Spencer, Ben Harper & Laura Dern, Cameron & A-Rod - all of the reported "back-on-agains,"  we'll be sleeping with one eye open!

Notice there was no mention of a single Cyrus? Doh! I was so close!

Happy Holidays and a Wonderful New Year to you all!! 

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Insert Obligatory Nip/Tuck Pun Here...

All I'm saying is, I'm getting a little tired of revising the year end wrap up I started last week! Actor Dylan Walsh (Nip/Tuck) has filed for divorce from his wife of six years, actress Joanna Going (Bunch of TV Sh*te).  There is something happening in Hollywood this week, don't drink the water if you'd like to keep your partner I guess!  I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

B Listers Jumping on Break-Up Bandwagon...

I mean seriously, what the hell is happening in the world?  Actress Anna Friel (Pushing Daisies)  and  David Thewlis (Harry Potter), have reportedly called it quits on their 9-year relationship.  I thought those kids were gonna make it.

Separation In Translation...

I honestly can't believe the week we've had here, but the news I must report. Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds have taken a left turn into Splitsville, USA after they tied the knot 2 years ago.  Could it have anything to do with the fact that he was just named People Magazine's sexiest man alive? Hmmmm.... I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

The folks here in the ITTKWGMI offices would like to thank our first on the scene Senior Correspondent in Laguna Beach.

Monday, December 13, 2010

On Screen Siblings, Off Screen Divorce...

There is no sleep for the weary here in the Blogosphere. I woke up to reports from both the East and West coast of America that Dexter stars Michael C. Hall and his TV-sister-real-life-wife, Jennifer Carpenter are splitting up! This is a record day in break-up history, I tells ya!  Married only 2 years, sources say they've been separated for some time and are officially filing for divorce.  A TV serial killer and a detective is the last bad sides I'd like to get on, so with heavyness in my heart, I truly thought those kids were gonna make it G-d Dammit.

High School Funeral...

Say it ain't so people!  The pillars of strength in young, hot Hollywood have turned to salt!  Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens have split up with no dramatic ending, they just decided to call it a day.  I will be getting out my old ACHS Cheerleading uniform tonight and do some spread eagle V jumps in their honour.  And those of you who are reading this blog, that may remember I wasn't actually ON the squad, I did wear the uniform when singing The Pointer Sisters' "Jump" at a fashion show at the Sands Casino and never turned it back in, and while it may be a little tight, I will still try to make Zac and Vanessa proud.

Thanks for the tip from my Senior Ex-Cheerleader Consultant Correspondent  in Laguna Beach

Two Break-ups - One Affair...

Former Australian cricket star Shane Warne has split from his wife, while reports link him to model/actress Elizabeth Hurley.  And if the story couldn't get any juicer, Liz has confirmed her split with her  husband, business tycoon Arun Nayar.  I guess the tabloids have forced these two to 'fess up.  I really thought all those kids were gonna make it!

UPDATE: Our sources tell us  Elizabeth Hurley has dumped Shane Warne only  a week after their relationship was made public.  Apparently she was angered by Warne as he was busted for sending suggestive text messages to another woman. 

Friday, December 10, 2010

Allllrighty then...

Jane Carey, the 23-year-old daughter of Jim Carey and his first wife Melissa Womer, has split from her husband Alex Santana (a.k.a "Nitro" from the metal band Blood Money.) The couple, who've only been married for a year, will continue to be friends, as well as devoted parents to their 9-month-old son, Jackson Riley. Man, I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Kardashian says Kaput to Kanadian...

Oh Kim, when will you find your true love? This isn't so much as a "break up" but a continued Kardashian watch. Sources tell Life & Style ,that Kardashian has ended her stint with short-term boyfriend, model-slash-Halle Berry's-baby-Daddy, Gabriel Aubry.  I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

I Don't Really Classify this as News but...X Marks the Spot...

2010 'X Factor' Finalist Matt Cardle was dumped by the show's stylist Grace Woodward, his short-time girlfriend, AND has lost his voice in advance of the live 'X Factor' show tonight.  He was informed their romance was ca-put after she caught him flirting with backing dancers.  Their fight was basically a monologue on her part, because Matt couldn't fight back, as he was to speak as little as possible with his  laryngitis.  I just want someone to rub this kid's shoulders so he can relax a little bit, because his shoulders are permanently hunched up to his ears when he sings!  Oh well, I thought those kids were gonna make it!

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Divorce, Party of One...

Well isn't she sneaky? Actress Neve Campbell (Scream) and John Light, her English actor husband (nothing to put here in parenthesis because I've never heard of anything he's been in, seriously, huge list on and I got nothin') of 3 years, filed for divorce back in the summer and nobody found out 'til now.  Good on 'em for keeping it on the DL!  Awww, I thought those kids were gonna make it.

Thanks to my Senior Party of Five Correspondent and St Louis for the overnight tip!