Apple, Moses, there's just too much to work with here...

Out soon, a new Coldplay album packed with miserablist ballads about Gwenyth Paltrow, as after 11 years, she and Chris Martin are calling it quits.  Let me be the first to say,  I really thought these kids were gonna make it.

Thanks to my crack Senior Overrated Actor - Musician Correspondent in Plymouth Meeting, PA for ever vigilant reporting.