Cruising for a Bruzing...

Like we all didn't see this one coming eventually, why, WHY didn't I have this pre-written so I could post it even faster!  It's official via statement from her lawyer, Katie Holmes and Tom "Couch Jumper" Cruise are calling it quitz after 5 years.  Rumour has it, that an unexpected power outage at their "compound" released the shackles long enough for her to escape.  What does the Scientology handbook say, is she allowed to scream now?

Thanks to my Senior Obvious Correspondents in Philly & Phoenixville, PA for the late breaking newstip!

Eva Longoria has split up with Penelope Cruz's little brother Eduardo.  They were together over the last 16 months, they broke up in March, they got back together and now they're breaking up for good. Got it?

I really thought all those kids were gonna make it!

Blunder Years...

Oh Winnie Cooper, I only ever wished happiness for you, but sadly, I must report that, Danica Mc Kellar, has filed for divorce from her husband, composer Mike Verga, after 3 years.  Aside from being an actress, McKellar graduated from UCLA and wrote three best-selling math books aimed at young girls, including "Math Doesn't Suck: How to Survive Middle-School Math Without Losing Your Mind or Breaking a Nail." You go Winnie! I really thought those kids were gonna make it.


Thanks to my Senior Wonder Years Correspondent in STL for the overnight newstip.

No Ho Ho, He's Single Again...

Well after I reported it back in January unofficially, I just put it out of my mind, because frankly people, I didn't believe it! However, after the joint announcement from the couple's publicist today, I can now report officially, it is true -- Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis have amicably separated after 14 years. A moment of silence y'all. I really thought those gorgeous kids were gonna make it.

The Sound of Breaking Klass...

 

I missed you guys! It's been ages since a celebrity has headed to Splitsville, but we're back with a very informative post about Myleene Klass, TV presenter and former member of  band I've never heard of, Hear'Say .  Ex-bodyguard Graham Quinn left her (and their 2 smallies) and moved to his secret flat in London after breaking the news to her on her 34th birthday, classy Quinn.  Together 11 years (married only since last October) Myleene was surprised by the split and is "devastated and utterly heartbroken."  He'll get his Myleene! Don't worry!  I really thought those kids were gonna make it.