2012 Break-Up Round-Up

Another year, another bunch of celebrity relationships take a dive. This is my 2012 "best of" round-up in case you missed the really important news...

Model Heidi Klum and Grammy award-winning singer Seal, who we all thought were rock solid split up in January, I mean, doesn't it feel like yesterday?

The most Newly Eligible Bacholor break-up award goes to Johnny Depp after his split with Vanessa Paradis.  Anyone snag him yet? Doesn't he look like George Harrison in this photo? I smell a biopic...

Creepiest Creep award goes to Hugh Heffner's allegedly abusive son, Marston, who split from Playmate Claire Sinclair. Just ew.

We were all shocked and stunned to read the reports of the split of Bevery Hills 90210's Jennie Garth & Twilight's Peter Facinelli. Stunned.

The most Obvious We KNEW It Was Coming break-up award goes to.......Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, we were routing for you Katie, glad you escaped unscathed with your kid! (I am currently writing the screenplay for the Scientology version of "Not Without My Daughter.")

In the What Broke Our Hearts the Most file...Will Arnett and Amy Poehler & Danny DeVito and Rhea Pearlman - a moment please...

In the we're waiting file: Will & Jada y'all, we're waiting!!  They're not REALLY a couple are they?

Thank you for reading, laughing and reporting on this most ridiculous (yet very important) blog. Everyone at the ITTKWGMI offices wishes you all peace and good health in 2013.

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www.NancyFalkow.Bandcamp.com

No Ho Ho, He's Single Again...

Well after I reported it back in January unofficially, I just put it out of my mind, because frankly people, I didn't believe it! However, after the joint announcement from the couple's publicist today, I can now report officially, it is true -- Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis have amicably separated after 14 years. A moment of silence y'all. I really thought those gorgeous kids were gonna make it.

Shiver Me Timbers!

I truly never thought I'd be writing this blog entry! But reports came in from around the globe that long-time-Pirate, Johnny Depp (48, can you believe he's 48??) and Vanessa Paradis (39) have reportedly split. Together for nearly 14 years, they have apparently been leading separate lives for the past two.  I usually wait to hear it made official before posting, but the explosion of gossip around this break-up is too big to not address!  I really thought those kids were gonna make it.


Thanks to my Senior Pirate-French Taxi- Relationship Correspondents in Philadelphia, PA and Shankhill, Ireland.