Bad Romance Strikes Again...

Only together for a few months shy of a year, Lady Gaga has split from Vampire Diaries star, Taylor Kinney. She's about to start a tour and doesn't have room for his mickey in her hoo-ha anymore. I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Sofia Vergara and rich businessman (read: sorry, I just don't feel like Googling who he is) Nick Loeb, her man for the last two years, according to The New York Post, have split up. I wonder how long until she puts those Golden Globes back on the market? I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

WWE Superstar John Cena has split from his wife of three years, Liz Huberdeau, filing that the relationship is "irretrievably broken.". There's a prenup but I think she's gonna try to wrestle a few more dollahs.  I really thought those buff kids were gonna make it.

Thanks so very much to my Senior Beefcake-Columbian Correspondent for her tireless reporting in North Jersey.

Round up of Negativity...

Even the host of The Bachelor, Chris Harrison, has now fallen prey to the curse of this stupid show. He and wife of 18 years Gwen Jones are separating. Maybe they'll ask him to be the next bachelor? But I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Thanks to my Senior Reality-Boob-Show Correspondent in North Jersey.

Martin Lawrence and his wife Shamicka Gibbs are in calling it quits. Married since 2010, but together for 15 years prior to that they are splitting seemingly amicably. No other info on this one peeps, so why don't you just enjoy the annoying theme song.  I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Former X Factor judge and sister of Australia's shiniest export, Dannii Minogue has split up with former rugby player-slash-model, Kris Smith, her baby Daddy, after 4 years.  Me thinks he cheated. I really thought those pretty kids were gonna make it. 

Eastenders actor, Sid Owen, has split from his fiance Polly Parsons - after they split up, and reunited, decided to get engaged, then break-up again, THEN get back together and................split. I really thought those exhausting kids were gonna make it.

Meet the Beatie's...

Famous for being a woman who became a man that got knocked up, Thomas Beatie, announced that he is separated from his wife Nancy.  Thomas revealed this on TV's The Doctors, you know that show that makes us all feel very, very unhealthy. I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Thanks to my tireless Senior Up-All-Night-Giving-Me-Stories Correspondent in North Jersey for yet another tip!

Ultra Maroon...

Nice Jewish boy back on the market people! Adam Levine, lead singer of Maroon 5, judge on The Voice (and singer of the dumbest-ass, most non-relative song on the planet "Moves Like Jagger") has split up with his hot model gal pal of 2 years Anne Vyalitsyna.  Apparently there was a big fight and she made a statement back in January that he didn't treat her well, that's when the rumours started swirling of their split, but it took a few months for them to go public.  I really thought those picture perfect kids were gonna make it.

Thanks to my Senior Nice-Jewish-Boy Correspondent in NJ for her tireless reporting.

OH! And on the local newsfront, Ex- Boyzone frontman, Ronan Keating, has split from his model wife of 14 years, Yvonne Keating. They both used the most subtle and discreet of break-up mediums, Twitter, to confirm the truth. The $40million fortune will be split between them, so me thinks she'll be ok, however, I really thought those kids, rocky relationship, rumours and all, were gonna make it.

Hungover and Blue...

Well it pains us to report this late-breaking news, but it has to be reported, as it's extremely important.   Bradley Cooper and Zoe Saldana, have split...after 3 months--3 whole months!  It's gonna be ok people, don't get all broken up about it, because both of these purty people will find love again, of that I can say, I am sure.  However, I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Thanks to my tireless Senior Hot Young Hollywood Correspondent in North Jewsey for the tip.

Oh and, my husband doesn't get my crypticly obscure reference in the Subject Header above, but you do right? Totally obvious!

Not Necessarily the News...

 

Sadly, CNN Newsfolk, Dana Bash, 40, and John King, 48, have split after less than four years of marriage. After living apart for the past few months, they've finally gone public with their shite news. I'm sure it's really fun around the network office for the pair of them! I really thought those informative kids were gonna make it.


Thanks to my Senior Newsy Mc Newserson Correspondent in Philadelphia for the late breaking report.

There are No Puns for these People...

Penelope Ann Miller, you know the star of Kindergarden Cop, is splitting from her husband James Huggins after 12 years.  I hope I look as good as her at 48!  I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Thanks to my Senior Modern Day Silent Movie Star Correspondent in San Fran for the overnight news tip!