Like we all didn't see this one coming eventually, why, WHY didn't I have this pre-written so I could post it even faster! It's official via statement from her lawyer, Katie Holmes and Tom "Couch Jumper" Cruise are calling it quitz after 5 years. Rumour has it, that an unexpected power outage at their "compound" released the shackles long enough for her to escape. What does the Scientology handbook say, is she allowed to scream now?
Thanks to my Senior Obvious Correspondents in Philly & Phoenixville, PA for the late breaking newstip!
Eva Longoria has split up with Penelope Cruz's little brother Eduardo. They were together over the last 16 months, they broke up in March, they got back together and now they're breaking up for good. Got it?
I really thought all those kids were gonna make it!
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