Friday, November 25, 2011

Long Stripey Scarf Wearing Women Rejoice...


Daisy Lowe (the 22 year old model daughter of Bush lead singer Gavin Rossdale) and young Dr. Who actor, Matt Smith (29) are no mo.  It took me all day to try to find something clever to say about them, and honestly, I got nothing. I thought those kids were gonna make it.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Contrived Reality Break-Up Inevitably Happens...


Bachelorette couple Ali Fedotowsky and Roberto Martinez have split up after an 18-month engagement. Shock, horror, I really thought those kids were gonna make it.



Thanks to my Senior I Could Give Two Sh*ts About The Bachelor or Bachelorette Correspondent in St Louis for this obvious it was gonna happen newstip.   Notice how I went for the Thanksgiving themed photo? Have a great holiday everybody!!!

Thursday, November 17, 2011

No, We're Not Being Punked...


Well, I certainly should have had this post already written and ready to go, but I surely didn't believe it was actually going to happen. However, let's all bow our heads in a very long moment of silence, as Demi Moore (49) has released a statement to the Associated Press that she is in fact ending her six-year marriage to Ashton Kutcher (33.)  Let's remember the good, (their DNA Foundation to combat human trafficking) the bad, (Kaballah and the fact that he's called her "Wifey" on Twitter for 6 years) and the ugly (Striptease & 2 and a Half Men.)  I really thought those kids were gonna make it. I really really thought so. Sigh.


Special thanks to my Senior Not Real Jew on Not Real Jew Correspondent in St Louis for this extremely late breaking newstip!

No Longer Her Velvet TeddyBear...

Season 2 American Idol winner Ruben Studdard has filed for divorce with his wife of 3 years, Surata Zuri McCants, citing irreconcirable differences, they have no children.  The pair met during one of his album signings in Walmart, dated for 2 years and then wed with 20, count them 20 groomsmen by his side! They were just there to help make him look a little slimmer. I really thought those kids were gonna make it.




Thanks to my Senior American Idol Relationship Correspondent in NJ for the overnight newstip!

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Another Avatar Actor Down...


Actor Joel Moore, (who wins the award for gracing our blog with the Jewiest face ever,) you may remember him as scientist Norm Spellman from Avatar, (then again, you may not,) has split from his wife Kineret Karen Ben Yishay Moore, (who wins the award for gracing our blog with the Jewiest name ever.) They'd been married a little over two years and they have no children.  I really thought those kids were gonna make it.




Thanks to my ever vigilant Senior Jew on Jew Correspondent in NJ for this overnight news tip. 

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Melrose Couple MisPlaced...


TV's own golden couple Heather Locklear and Jack Wagner have confirmed the engagement is off, but it's not confirmed they're actually broken up, so stay tuned people and check back for late breaking and very important news updates. Do you think it's because she stumbled upon his 1984 appearance on Solid Gold?   I really still think these kids are gonna make it.





Thanks to the early newstip from our Senior Ex-Melrose Place Residents Correspondent in Shankhill.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Avatar Actress has the Blues...


Actress Zoe Saldana has split from fiance of 11 years, entrepreneur, Keith Britton. They have a business together, and have apparently split amicably so don't freak out people, My Fashion Data Base is gonna be ok! Sadly though, I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Special thanks to my Senior Extra-Terrestrial Pandoran Correspondent from Philadelphia for a newstip she didn't think worthy, but without, we would all be in the dark, thanks for working on a Sunday.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Who's Chelsea Broken Up With Lately?


Talk show host and lover of vodka, Chelsea Handler has returned to our fair blog as we've just learned the news of her split from boyfriend of one year (and Uma Thurman's ex) hotelier and Richie Mc Richerson, Andre Balasz.   I've said it before and I'll say it again, can't a pretty-funny girl keep a boyfriend???? I thought those kids were gonna make it.

Friday, November 4, 2011

Curbing Her Enthusiasm...


Well we're having a busy week here over at the ITTKWGMI offices. News just in that actress Vivica A Fox (47) and fiancĂ© Atlanta club promoter Omar "Slim" White (28) have broken off their impending nuptials.  Engaged since January and together a year before that, it's not yet confirmed who split from whom, what we can confirm is....we really thought those kids were gonna make it.



Thanks to my super vigilant Senior Giant Knockers-Club Promoter Relationship Correspondent in Philadelphia for this late breaking news tip.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Taking the Ride in the Relationship Death Cab...


Actress Zooey Deschanel and leader of Death Cab for Cutie, Ben Gibbard have broken up after 2 years of marriage.  Emo girls everywhere rejoice at the news. I thought those kids were gonna make it.

Thanks so much to my Senior Global Actress-Indie Rock Relationship correspondents for chiming in from Philadelphia and Black Rock.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Sour Grapes and Hard Cheese on the Menu at Le Bec-Fin...


Our Senior Regional Restaurant Relationship Correspondent in Bluebell, PA informed us of the break up of Le Bec-Fin chef Georges Perrier and his wife Andrea Rosenstiehl. Our correspondent felt the Eastern seaboard needed to be informed of this very important information and apologizes to the rest of our worldwide readership who could care less.  The only time I've ever seen the inside of Philadelphia's old school schmancyness is when I worked at the travel agency next door and got change from the bar downstairs, or to drop off an occasional piece of mail. Anyway, I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Monday, October 31, 2011

Kimpossibly Short...


Really? 72 days, really? I mean, who really thought these kids weren't gonna make it (to another season?) I sure thought they were gonna!  Reality starlet Kim Kardashian and NBA player Kris Humphries are getting a divorce after making only 18-million dollars on their wedding extravaganza.  Let's hope the Kurse of reality TV doesn't affect her sisters!

A very special thanks to my tireless Senior Kardashian Correspondent in Philadelphia, it is a full-time job you know!

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Duffy Has No Mercy....


Singer Duffy has split from her rugby playing tall drink o' water Mike Philips, for the 2nd time, we actually missed it the first time around!  I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Balls, Cars and Guidos...




Matt Barnes and Gloria Govan, you may know them from NBA's LA Lakers and VH1's Basketball Wives, have split up.  There's some shite about their twitters that are not even worth cutting and pasting. They're pretty, they'll find new people to annoy, however, I really thought those kids were gonna make it.  There were so many shots to choose from of these two, but I think the matchy-matchy shot above is the classiest.



Ex-Pussycat Doll now X Factor America star Nicole Scherzinger has split from her long-time boyfriend, race car driver, Lewis Hamilton. Their work keeps them apart and they felt it was time to put this puppy to bed.  Apparently this 2nd break-up is for reals.  I really thought these handsome kids were gonna make it.

Ronnie and Sammi of "The Jersey Shore" were spotted out today after grabbing Gelato with the rest of the cast on Collins Ave in Miami where they are filming season 2 of the hit show. They seemed very much together again in front of the cameras as they smiled, laughed and playfully argued. At one point Sammi flipped Ronnie the bird as they walked down the street. The couple who are known for their rollercoaster romance in season one were reportedly split up but today seemed very much together. We look forward to seeing more of the pair together in the sunshine state.

Jersey Shore on again, off again, fighting favourites Sammi Giancola and Ronnie Magro have broken up.  AGAIN.  Enough already, if you say you're done Sammi, be done! See you two next season, cause I really think these kids are gonna make it.

shakira gerard pique parisian pair 02

And I'm seriously late on this one, but thought since we were here I'd be thorough, Shakira has dumped her footballer boyfriend, FC Barcelona star Gerard Pique, because in a shock development for rich, spolied football players, he apparently cheated on her with a younger woman. Even though they've only been together 6 months, I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

I would just like to say, it's been mental here at the ITTKWGMI offices, and I really hope my Senior Correspondents around the globe get crackin' as we were late on every damn one of these stories, you're not relying in ME to keep up with the gossip are you? 

Friday, October 21, 2011

Breakup Not So Superbad...


I missed one! Formerly chubsy ubsy actor, Jonah Hill, has split from his girlfriend Jordan Klein.  Together since 2008, they decided to call it a day.  You rock those horizontal stripes Jonah!  I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

There's Gonna Be A Teenage Riot...


Following on with our rock and roll break-ups this week, Kim Gordon and Thurston Moore, of Sonic Youth, have split after 27 years! A moment of silence please, cause I thought those kids were definitely gonna make it!!!
Awww don't we look happy? This was at my old fantastic job at Indre Studios when Sonic Youth came for a broadcast recording. We could be related right? Photo by the talented Kathleen Hill

Thank you to my Senior Alt-Rock Relationship Correspondent in Vegas for this tip!


And because one wasn't enough today, Coronation Street actor Michael Le Vell has split with his wife of 25 years, Janette Beverley.  You may recognize him from the recent news as he'd just taken a break from acting to deal with the accusation of sexual assault from a teenage girl who claims it happened when she was 6. Ouch.  I thought those kids were gonna make it.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

A Rolling Stone Gathers No Brazillian Models...


Tis an honour to have a Rolling Stone grace our blog not once, but twice. Ronnie Wood (64,) has split from his Brazillian model girlfriend, Ana Arujo (32.)  He is apparently taking a "sabbatical" from her as he has been frustrated by her desire to be in the public eye.  But this is my favourite quote, when asked where his girlfriend was at Macca's recent wedding (mazel tov Paul,)  Wood's reply was, "I don't know about that, it's not my bag." She's not his bag anymore!  I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

No Glee for Lea...


Glee's Lea Michelle has split from boyfriend, Broadway actor, Theo Stockman. They're gonna stay friends, isn't that swell? I really thought those kids were gonna make it.  Had I not gotten the awesome care package that included the most recent People Magazine, from the uber talented Colleen Mc Farland, I would've completely missed this one! Thanks for the newstip, and I hope you and your talented husband Peter Nova stay far away from this blog!

Friday, October 7, 2011

Sad TV...


Mad TV's Debra Wilson is splitting from her husband, cinematographer, Cliff Skelton, after a five year marriage citing irreconcilable differences, but I ain't one to gossip.  I really thought those kids were gonna make it.



Thanks to my Senior Gossip-Never-Sleeps Correspondent in NJ for the overnight news tip.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Who's Not Eating Gilbert's Grapes?


Blake Lively and Leo DiCaprio have split up, and thus, by announcing their break-up, they confirm they were actually a couple......And breath.  I really thought those rich and famous kids were gonna make it.