She Won't Be His Trouble & Strife...

Right out of a scene from Eastenders, actress, Jessie Wallace, dumped her 50-year-old catering boss fiance, Vince Morse, hours before their wedding!  He admitted to sending an explicit picture of her to his ex the night before. I hope the cancelled singing Elvis got a deposit.  I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

One, Two, Three Strikes You're Out...

Actress Minka Kelly (should I know her from something?) and baseball guy,* Derek Jeter, will not be heading to the World Series of Love, as after 3 years they've called it quits.  Here are all the other girls he didn't make it with in case you were curious: Mariah Carey, Miss Universe Lara Dutta, Scarlett Johansson, singer Joy Enriuez, Jessica Biel, Jessica Alba and Tyra Banks.  He sure likes him some pretty.  I thought those kids were gonna make it.




*Baseball guy is what I am down to as I've used every friggin' baseball pun/adjective in the book.


Thanks to my always on the ball Senior Actress-Yankee Correspondent in Northfield, NJ.

Happy Blogiversary to Us!!!

With the crazy news day yesterday, I totally missed our Blogiversary! So I just wanted to take the time to thank you all dear loyal readers from around the globe who make I Thought Those Kids Were Gonna Make It, the important and informative blog that it is.  From Beijing to Laguna Beach, from Philadelphia to North Carolina (formerly NJ), from St Louis to Dublin-- without my tireless correspondents, we are nothing.  Much love to you all and THANK YOU for reading! Now, how can I parlay this into a money-making endeavour?   

Two-fer Tuesday...Wake Him Up Before He Go-Go's

What a day, say it ain't so people! Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith have called it quits after 13 years AND George Michael and long-time partner Kenny Goss (who've been together since 1996!) have also split up. While Will and Jada chose In Touch Magazine to make their news public, George himself told the crowd from the stage of Prague State Opera. I really thought all those kids were gonna make it.

Thanks to my Senior Open-Marriage Scientologist Correspondent in Philadelphia for the early news tip!

UPDATE: I usually don't post updates when people get back together, we just wait to write their 2nd break-up post...however, TMZ (and my Senior Fresh Prince Reconciliation Correspondent in Las Vegas) has informed us all that the Pinkett-Smiths have responded to the rumours, and that they are just rumours and in fact still together. We're waiting kids, we're waiting.  

2 Will Not Become 1...

Spice Girl Geri Halliwell has split from her beau of over 2 years, English toff, Henry Beckwith.  He had a wandering eye, and she told him what she wanted, what she really, really wanted, and apparently he couldn't oblige.  We really thought, we really, really thought, those kids were gonna make it.

Buried Under Beautiful Women....

Well it looks like after only 2 months actors Ryan Reynolds and Charlize Theron have broken up.  He sure gets the hotties, eh? Since I couldn't find any shots of them together, I'm posting a picture of delicious donuts, because I've been sugar and wheat free for 103 days now and I want to eat my own arm. I thought those kids were gonna make it.

Gomez Takes Tylenol for her Bieber Fever...

17-year old boy wonder, Justin Bieber and Disney actress Selena Gomez have apparently split.  If someone were reporting my break-up with Tony at age 17 on their blog, I'd be all, " I'm Famous Bitch!" but I am sad the world has to endure their heartbreak collectively.  I really thought those actual kids were gonna make it.

Pollyanna a NO Show...

Grant Show (you know, Jake from Melrose Place,) and his actress wife Pollyanna Mc Intosh (do you think she changed her name to that?) are splitting up after a 7-year marriage. She seems to be taking all the classic cars with her-- that's gotta hurt. I really thought those hot kids were gonna make it.

Thanks to my super Senior Old-Actor-Younger-Taller-Actress Correspondent in South Philly for this extremely important piece of news.

And forgive me for being so late on this one! Heiress Nicky Hilton and TV-dude-son-of-Movie dude-Jeffery Katzenberg, David Katzenberg, have called it quits after 4 years.  I really thought those rich kids were gonna make it.

Cold Chill for Arctic Monkey...

Presenter Alexa Chung has split from Arctic Monkeys chief monkey, Alex Turner after a 4-year relationship.  Reports that they'd been distant at recent iTunes Festival and Glastonbury and with her basing herself in NYC and himself on the road, their already strained relationship was doomed.  I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Staked Through the Heart....

No holiday for the weary with this blog! True Blood bohunk, Alexander Skarsgard, is back on the market ladies! Alex and actress Kate Bosworth (who I swear I wouldn't know if I was sitting next to on an airplane) have called it a day after almost 2 years. I really thought those kids were gonna stake it.

Thanks to my attentive Senior Van Helsing Correspondents on the East and West coasts.

You're Fired...Again!

Sandra Bullock's Ex, Jesse James and tattooed temptress Kat Von D have split. Announcements came via Kat's Twitter. Oh social media networks, is there nothing you can't do? I really REALLY thought those kids were gonna make it. Will find a photo when I'm off the road, this blog never sleeps!

Thanks to my Senior Mechanic-Tattoo Relationship Correspondents in Philadelphia and Goatstown for the tip! Without y'all we are all uninformed.

Random...

It's very difficult to post from my iPhone, with sketchy interweb from Craggy Island, but for you dear loyal readers, I will persevere. Former Laguna Beach/Hills, reality villainess, Kristin Cavallari and NFL Quarterback fiancé Jay Cutler have apparently broken up. The news must be reported. I thought those kids were gonna make it.

Thanks to my Senior Reality-Star-Athlete-Relationship Correspondent in Laguna Beach (ironically) for this early news tip!

You are Not the Father (said in my best Maury Povich voice)...

                         
Well my source is a little shakey, but I'm posting anyway!  Looks like musician Rohan Marley and former Fugee, currently pregnant with number SIX, Lauryn Hill are splitting up.  Apparently there's a lot of tweeting going on.  He's tweeting he's not the baby Daddy, his new girlfriend, Brazilian model Isabeli Fontana is tweeting she's in lurve with Rohan.  What did people do before Twitter? I still haven't figured it out!   I thought those kids and all their kids were gonna make it.

Severed...

                                         

I wonder if he had to cut his arm off to get out of this relationship?  James Franco and girlfriend of almost 5 years Ahna O'Reilly have split. Apparently school, work and a partner were too much for him to handle.  She's gonna be ok, me thinks.  I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Jenny Back On the Block...

                            

Well, I am as speechless as all of you! In a statement released to People Mag, the world has learned that Jennifer Lopez and Mark Anthony have split!  Let's all bow our heads in a moment of silence, we really thought those kids were gonna make it.


Thanks to my Senior Latino Triple Threat Correspondent in Laguna Beach for the heads up, we are nothing without you.

Baldwin Breaks-Up...

                                          

Predominently 5 O'clock shadowed and curviest of the Baldwin brothers, Daniel Baldwin, has filed for divorce from his wife Joanne.  Drug and alcohol fueled death threats and violent behaviour (on her part) are believed to be the straw that broke the Baldwin's back. I thought those kids were gonna make it.



Thanks to my forever vigilant Senior Baldwin Correspondent in Northfield, NJ for this late-breaking and very important news tip.

The Lost Boy....

Actor Kiefer Sutherland has ended his 3-year relationship with Allure magazine style director Siobhan Bonnouvrier.  Supposedly it was a while ago, and no one cared until Us Magazine made us care today.  I thought those kids were gonna make it.

The eX File...(I know, too obvious, right?)

                                     

Married since 1997, with a split over his sexual addiction in 2008, actors Tea Leoni and David Duchovny have split again. A divorce isn't necessarily imminent, but me thinks Tea wants someone who thinks she is the preferred beverage of choice.  I thought those kids were gonna make it.

Reports flooded in over night on this very important story, thanks to my US East Coast and West Coast Senior Sexual Addiction Recovery-Re-Break-Up Correspondents for keeping us informed.

Meet the F#cker...

                                                                   
My movie boyfriend, I mean, actor Owen Wilson has split from his girlfriend Jade Duell, the mother of his 5-month old son.  Apparently he wasn't willing to commit to a long-term relationship without having the freedom to do what he wanted with male or female friends. I have to admit, I'm siding with Jade, and I'm breaking up with him too.  I really thought those kids were gonna make it.


 

Losing His Religion...Goddess-less-ness...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

                                   

Again, Charlie has returned to our fair blog, we are so lucky aren't we? Natalie Kenly, the last of his Goddesses is out.  Winning?  We truly thought those kids were gonna make it.